Sunday, August 22, 2010

outing on the beach

         It all started with a simple dance of my cousin's and other friends, actually it's not simple i can say it's fabulous. It's a competition "Sampaguita Festival" for our town fiesta. There are six participants from different purok, and were representing purok 2 and 3. My cousin's turn bff (best friends forever) are part of the dance group (Xhiela and Brenda) they also ask me if i will join them, even if i wanted to i refused because my schedule is conflict, im studying and i always go home late that's why i didn't join them. Unfortunately my cousin Xhiela didn't make it to the pre-inter because she met an accident through a motor but now she's ok thanks to God. There are 2 showdowns, first the street dance and the second is the final pre-inter dance. They won 2nd place on the street dance and also 2nd on the final pre-inter dance. I know, we all know that they deserve to win as the champion, but the purok 1 won the competition. There's a rumor that the judges are bias and they are on the side of the purok 1. Well anyway let's move on to that, things like that really happen, let the karma back at them.The people of Dau 1st know who really the champions are. Let's not fight just because of a small money, as Kris Aquino says "Love, love, love :)".
After they won on the competition the dancers decided to go on an outing for their victory party, and the outing was on the beach on Bagac, Bataan. Almost all of the dancers join the outing including me. We packed our things and leave dau at exactly 2 pm in the afternoon on August 21, 2010. We rode two cars, while on the road we can't help but laugh because one of the dancers keep on joking for us not to get bored. The view outside was so beautiful we keep looking at the mountain the Mt. Samat was located there, we weren't able to go to Mt. Samat because we don't have enough time. But for sure next time we will go there to see the beauty of the mountain. We even missed our way to the beach and we travelled for almost 3 hours. It's raining that time because it's rainy season. The road is  slippery and zigzag just like the way on Baguio so the other dancers felt dizzy and sleepy. We are sitting for hours and that is so painful on our asses, our sweat drips, we looked haggard and exhausted but still were pretty (hehe). Finally we reached our destination at exactly 4:30 pm. We hurriedly went to our cottage to drop off our belongings and to see the beach, the waves are frightening us 'cause it's so high but other people are already swimming on the beach and it looks like they don't mind the high waves. So we are excited to go swimming. We quickly change our clothes to swim wear and goes to the beach. Im also bringing my camera with me to capture great image and memories. Unfortunately my cousin Xhiela can't go swimming with us because her wounds are still fresh so she is the one who's capturing us.

We hurriedly goes to the beach, the water is so warmth not so cold and taste salty. We enjoyed a lot like no one can stop us from enjoying, we wished that time could stop so that we will stay longer on the resort. After an hour heavy rain pours so we need to get away from the beach and we stayed on the cottage and ate our dinner. We waited until the rain stops, we drank a little then we went swimming again and build a von fire, we didin't mind the cold as long as were enjoying the night on the beach. We danced and danced and danced like no one couldn't stop us from what were doing. We took pictures, a lot of pictures so we could upload it on facebook and other internet sites. Pictures are forever. Memories are forever.
             We woke up early in the morning the next day, we are like kids excited to see again the beach. To capture great images. To see the waves, the shore, the boats floating nearby, the birds chirping. There are small little crabs crawling on the shore and even shells and snails. We dig sand and put it on our body, we build sand castles etc. We took our time enjoying that morning because in the afternoon we need to leave the resort and return home.
This is my best outing so far, 'cause we enjoyed a lot even if we just stayed for one day on the beach still it's memorable experience for us, that we will treasure forever. I'm sure this won't be the last because were planning to have an outing again on the sem break. For sure that would be so much fun. Now im starting to love the beach, the water, the shore, the sea animals and more. So sad we need to leave the resort, we immediately packed our things and for the last time we took pictures again and again and again.
Goodbye for now we will come back so soon. This our outing on the beach. Our best days ever :)

Monday, August 9, 2010

i don't give a shit

Other peopLe d0n't understand me they criticized my Lo0k, my haircut, the way i taLk, m0ve, everything . They even said im WEiRD, ADDiCT & CRAZY but i d0n't mind them . i L0ve being me & i d0n't care what 0ther pe0pLe say (FUCK to th0se pe0pLe who keepz on taLking behind my back or saying thingz against me). Everytime im g0ing out im juzt putting my earph0nes & Listened t0 the songs 0n my ip0d or ph0ne . The voLume iz reaLLy so Loud, the onLy thing im hearing is the SCREAMiNG so that i can't hear if pe0pLe are taLking about me & when i caught them staring at me i juzt Lo0k at them w/ tough Lo0k . Pe0pLe can say anything against me & make up st0ries about me but i juzt Let them becauze it onLy sh0ws that im on t0p of them & they are the reaz0ns why i shouLd c0nsider my seLf FAM0US .

i have a L0t of friends but onLy few of them ar true & reaLLy understandz the reaL me others are secretLy taLking behind my back, they juzt can't say it straight to my face (you kn0w who the HELL are you) . i kn0w i can't trust anyone & the onLy pers0n who kn0wz aLm0st everything ab0ut me iz my c0uzin (XHiELA) . she kn0wz my secretz, my HEARTACHES . but i can't teLL her everything, my TEARZ, PAiN, SUFFERiNGS, PR0BLEMS, so i juzt keep it to my seLf . im just writing it on my n0te, my feeLingz, EM0Ti0NS, PAiNS, etc. i feeL reLieve when im writing (that'z why i wanted to be a WRiTER but they want me to be s0me0ne eLse) . when i can't face it anym0re im just CRYiNG my seLf t0 sLeep . n0 one kn0wz what's reaLLy inside of me . Because i kn0w i can't trust any0ne but my seLf .

im the kind of girL wh0 can be in a cr0wded pLace & feeL s0 AL0NE . who teLLz herseLf everything wiLL be aLright but im that girL wh0 CRiES herseLf to sLeepz . im the girL who L0ves so many pe0pLe yet trusts n0 one . im the girL who seems to be the happiezt girL in the worLd but aLL she d0ez iz worry . im the girL who is searching for s0mething that'z never been there . i juzt want to be happy & n0thing iz wr0ng with that . Every perz0n wantz to be happy . im a type of girL who faLL f0r b0ys easiLy that'z why im easy to HURT & im sensitive with my EM0Ti0NS . im vuLnerabLe t0 beLieving LiES . im h0ping that 1 day i w0n't need a fake smiLe . i Live by qu0tes the 1 expLain exactLy what im g0ing thr0ugh . i have BESTFRiENDS & ENEMiES . i have DRAMA & mem0ries & that'z Life . Live it, L0ve it, Learn fr0m it .

i want to meet some pe0pLe who are exactLy juzt Like me so that they can underztand me i can underztand them . s0me pe0pLe who are exactLy haz the same trip Like i d0, same music that i L0ve so we can jam, pers0ns who are t0taLLy BR0KEN inside but ztiLL keepz 0n smiLing juzt to hide the PAiN . n0 1 can underztand uz n0t unLess they wiLL aLso experience the same experience we had .

"im a HELL of a SCANDAL, im a SCENE, im a DRAMA QUEEN, im the BEST DAMN thing that your eyes have ever seen". (AVRiL LAViGNE's s0ng) . yeah im a DRAMA QUEEN, im to0 em0ti0naL my TEARZ are easiLy faLLing when i feeL even juzt a singLe ache . i easiLy get CRY when im HURTiNG & n0 1 kn0wz im CRYiNG but my seLf . i d0n't want them to kn0w that iam a crying Lady 'cause i want the w0rLd to see that im a str0ng pers0n even if im weak inside . i'LL juzt pretend to be happy, taLking a L0t & Laughing out L0ud so that n0body w0uLd kn0w what'z reaLLy inside . But at the end of the day i aLwayz find my seLf aLL AL0NE . i'd rather Lock my seLf on my r0om with my music s0 Loud rather than to be with a L0t of peopLe & feeL so Left out . music so0thes my souL & music makes me happy, that's 1 of the things that's why even if im AL0NE i can say im happy :)

it'z hard f0r me to define my seLf i guess im juzt a cLiche, the perz0n who L0ved to0 hard & didn't get anything in return .

i L0ve to see pe0pLe trying to kn0w me m0re dezpite my imperfecti0nz Living their Lives with me in such a L0ving way . pe0pLe who can accept the reaL me & respect me as a pers0n :)

FYi im n0t aLwayz in s0rr0w (i have a happy Life & i have pe0pLe who L0ve me) thiz iz juzt 1 side of me . But you can't deny the fact that s0me point at your Life you are to0 EM0Ti0NAL & wiLL feeL AL0NE even if you have aLL the pers0ns who L0ve you . it'z just happened that im to0 EM0Ti0NAL when i wr0te this .


(i kn0w whiLe you are reading this you wiLL say im to0 em0ti0naL or maybe your Laughing at me right n0w, but i d0n't care . i d0n't give a SHiT/FUCK to th0se peopLe who are n0t part of my Life .~_^ )

HURT, PAiN and TEARS

every time that she's Hurting
the girl in the mirror is always Crying
what she always do is to write down all her feelings
pen and papers are her best friends

she have a Lot of friends but others hate her
she don't know why the hell they hate her
so, she's just ignoring and avoiding them
she don't need to stress herself from them

the world doesn't really know what she's going through
she's also Crying real TEARS Like others do
to wash all the Pain away she cut her wrist
she's Bleeding and no one knows about it

i can describe her into 3 words; HURT, Pain & TEARS
'cause they always keep on Hurting her
Pain & TEARS are always there
and no one really cares about it

she's hoping that one day she wont need to Lock herself on her room
to see real smile on her face and Bloom
to color her world with all the beauty of Life
and be happy with all the people she Loves and Love her ..

I love the slash marks on my wrist

Just to relieve the PAiN
i cut my own WRiST again
BLOOD trickLes down from the SLiT
and n0w i L0ve the sLash marks 0n my WRiST

d0n't even try to ask me why the
heLL i did that stupid thing
i wiLL n0t utter a singLe w0rd f0r you to think
i wiLL just stab your WRiST
so that you wiLL aLso feeL the PAiN and BLOOD wiLL drift

I'm trying my best to do what's right

but damn! you didnt even appreciate it
you onLy see the bad things I've d0ne
not Lo0king at the good things I've d0ne

maybe i need to Listen to them n0w

to st0p fooLing my seLf that your L0ve stiLL gL0w
stop being stupid, st0p being fooLish 'cause i don't deserve you
and i deserve someone better, better than you !!

a message for her

Now that your gone
All i can do is to cry
I miss your smile, your voice
I really miss you so badly

I'm longing for your presence
Why did you have to  leave
You leave a mark of sense
on my mind and that i received

I'm sorry if sometimes i wasn't able to take care of you
I'm sorry for the bad things I've done
If sometimes you needed me and I'm not beside you
How i wish i could turn back the time
When you were still alive but now your all gone

For me your always the best
Wanted to touch you again
Wanted to feel your caress
Your memory will always remained

Forever you will stay on my heart
Wanted to say i love you so much
There's no one like you in this earth
And for that, forever i will miss you grandma